Why is it so difficult to simply say no?
“Do you have some money for me?” a woman asked.
I looked up at her, sitting on a large stone staircase in central Oslo. She must’ve been around thirty-five years old and was standing above me, wearing a colorful headscarf and a long skirt. “Please. I’m from Romania, and I have five children,” she continued.
I reached for my wallet. Maybe I should give her something? I’m priveleged, isn’t it almost an obligation to help out those who are less fortunate? I opened it and peeked inside. Receipts, tram and train tickets were curled up, making a mess. In between the chaos I spotted some euro notes, leftovers from my recent time in France.
“I’m sorry,” I said. We were in Norway, and the expected currency would be kroner. “I only have some euros”.
The woman looked at me with big, brown eyes. “I can take euros,” she said. I gave her five, and expected her to thank me and move on. Oh, was I naive.
“Can I have more?” she asked. “If you do, I can give you a magazine”. She was carrying a pile of them, selling them for hundred kroner each.
I felt trapped. She had already seen that I had more money. Reluctantly, I gave her another five, and told her she could keep the magazine.
“You’re so pretty,” she said. “Do you have more?” I was flattered and annoyed at the same time. I checked if I had some coins. I did, and gave her two euros. She sat down next to me on the stairs, wanting more. I gave her two more. Still, she didn’t give up. This was one petsistant lady.
“Kroner are better,” she said. “Can you go to the ATM-machine and get me 200 kroner?”
I was starting to feel used. I gave her two more euros, hoping she was being honest and sincerely needed the money.
“You’re so nice”, she said, and added: “Are you a Christian?”
I’m not, so I told her that. She looked a bit disappointed, and confused. Did she think that only religious people are good people?
“I have children in Romania,” she repeated, wanting even more money. I gave her my last five euro note, and she finally left me alone.
When I watched her walk away in perfect sunlight, I felt used, naive and weak. Giving should be a good feeling. She didn’t steal my money, I gave it to her. But she was greedy and pushy.
I don’t know if this woman honestly needed the money, but I hope she has children who will benefit from my inability to say no.
Nomad 